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Quiet vs. Black Widow
Two femme-fatales, haunted by their pasts, face off! Intro Wiz: The art of war does not discriminate between genders, but it does know how to take advantage of them. Boomstick: And these two fine ladies are prime examples of eye candy that will gouge out your eyes! Wiz: Quiet, the former XOF sniper. Boomstick: And Black Widow, the former KGB assassin. Wiz: I’m Wizard and he’s Boomstick, and it’s our job to find out who would win… A Death Battle. Quiet (Cue Encounter) Wiz: Not much is known about the former-assassin Quiet’s past. What we do know is that she was an elite XOF sniper who was sent to kill Big Boss on March 11th, 1984. Boomstick: And she failed spectacularly, getting pelted with chemicals… aaand being set on fire. Twice. Wiz: Quiet managed to survive, against all odds, but was forced to accept the vocal cord parasites, a process that would leave her speechless, but grant her new abilities and bodily functions, such as undergoing photosynthesis to breath. Boomstick: Wait, she’s like a plant? Wiz: Well, she does use photosynthesis. That’s why she wears as little clothing as possible, in order to let her skin ‘breath.’ Boomstick: Well. At least she’s not wearing a suit made up of her hair. Plant-ladies are much less of a turn-off, I suppose. Wiz: Quiet eventually crossed paths with Venom Snake again, and took the shot. Boomstick: A rematch she lost again, but this time decided that guys with eyepatches were badass, so she defected to the Diamond Dogs, leaving behind XOF. Wiz: Though she was initially the Diamond Dog’s prisoner, she eventually gained their trust and proved a valuable asset to the team. (Cue Yell Dead Cell) Boomstick: As it turned out, Quiet was actually supposed to be captured so that she could infect the Diamond Dogs with her parasite. Turns out she could speak all along, but chose not to in order to keep everyone alive. Wiz: And when a second outbreak threatened the Diamond Dogs, Quiet removed herself from them, in fear of adding to the metaphorical fire. This nearly resulted in her death, as she was captured by the Soviets and forced into wearing clothes. Boomstick: The worst crime of all. Wiz: Perverted comments aside, Quiet met back up with Venom Snake and the two found themselves stranded in a sandstorm. The only way she could save him was to speak English on Snake’s radio, a decision that left Quiet heartbroken, knowing that she would be forced to hunt Venom down after uttering the language, and she fled, never to be seen again. Despite being lovesick, Quiet remained a deadly force in the field with her elite sniper skills and parastite-born powers. (Cue Escape) Boomstick: Quiet is a sniper, and uses her two sniper rifles, Wicked Butterfly and Sinful Butterfly perfectly, though she also uses rocket launchers, knives, and grenades. Quiet’s freaky parasites also give her some sort of delayed Spider-Sense, forming black clots around her eyes when in danger. Though, obviously not BEFORE danger, so it’s kinda just cosmetic. She also has enhanced strength, speed, durability, and even healing capabilities. Wiz: Her healing is dependent on water and sunlight, which revitalize her and also grant her some powers, such as camouflaging and changing her density into a gaseous state, to a small degree of course. Boomstick: Uhhh, Wiz, why is she dancing around… like that… in the water… (Cue Theme of Tara) Wiz: Well, it is how she breaths, so soaking her entire body in it would logically help her breath and take in necessary water to more areas much easier. Boomstick: You sure that’s not the only reason? Wiz: Well… uh, anyway, parasites! Boomstick: Yeah, uh, those parasites allow Quiet to achieve some insane feats, like the time she sniped a fighter jet pilot moving at mach speeds and a missile out of the sky! Wiz: From 600 meters away, no less. This means that Quiet was able to calculate air resistance, line up two targets, and while the chopper she was in was moving evasively. This is because Quiet can track multiple focal lengths at once, due to her parasitic-born abilities. Essentially, she can lock onto targets with one eye and track other targets with her other eye, both at once. Boomstick: Quiet also managed to shoot multiple rounds of bullets past a moving helicopter rotor, without touching any of the blades. Wiz: Keep in mind that helicopter rotors generally achieve around 460 RPM to 600 RPM. A feat like that means that Quiet can basically see things in slow motion, easily allowing her to time her shots perfectly. (Cue MGS4 Theme of Love) Boomstick: Quiet is one hell of a fighter, too, taking out a multiple Diamond Dogs with ease, and killing a bunch of Russians with brutal proficiency. Wiz: Quiet’s camouflage has gotten her out of danger multiple times, and her intangibility lets her dodge gunfire even at point blank range. Boomstick: And her increased durability and speed lets her leap off extremely high up places and move to a new spot almost instantly, making sure she’s never without a perfect shot. She also can be shot in the head without dying at least once, and survived being shot at by a tank round. Wiz: But, although her parasites give her superhuman abilities, she is not without her faults. Boomstick: Right, like her eternal aversion to not wearing clothes. The travesty! Wiz: Even though water replenishes her, it can also drown her if she has too much. She’s also still human, so if a bullet manages to hit her in the head more than once, it can kill her. Boomstick: She also has her own kryptionite; Salt Water. Wiz: As silly as it sounds, the salt in the water creates a chemical reaction to her skin that causes it to burn. Enough saltwater would eventually kill her. Boomstick: Still, as long as its not saltwater, I would have no problem watching her bathe. Wiz: Try not being such a pervert once in a while, Boomstick. Quiet: "I did not choose to be Quiet. I wanted to express my feelings to you. If only we shared a common tongue. Vengeance was what drove me to them...The only language left to me, revenge. But the words we shared...No, that was no language at all. That's why I...I chose the language of gratitude instead, and go back to silence. I am Quiet...I am...the absence of words." Black Widow (Cue Shark's Don't Sleep) Wiz: Natasha Romanova was orphaned as a child when she was trapped in a burning building during an attack on Stalingrad. Ivan Petrovitch Bezukhov, a Soviet soldier, found Natasha in the inferno and rescued her. Natasha was watched by the Soviets, who eventually abducted her and brainwashed her into their own assassin. Boomstick: Well that’s a refreshing backstory. Short and to the poi- Wiz: Natasha was later inducted into the Black Widow program, where she was trained in combat by the Winter Soldier. She covered as a ballerina to disguise herself as a regular citizen, and was eventually married to the Red Guardian. Boomstick: Who basically just served as a motivator for Natasha to finish her training once he supposedly died. Wiz: And it worked. Natasha, taught by Wolverine, went back and finished her training in the Red Room, and became an elite assassin, obtaining a formula that slowed her aging process, strengthened her immune system, and increased her physical capabilities a bit. One of her missions, she stole tech from Tony Stark and manipulated Hawkeye into working with her; two instances of the outside world that would later influence her decision to turn coat from the KGB and join the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. Boomstick: During her time in S.H.I.E.L.D. and as an Avenger, Natasha was trained even further, including Captain America, a nifty upgrade over her previous mentor, Bucky. (Cue Taking a Stand) Wiz: Natasha is a natural spy, and uses her graceful movements and ballerina experience to evade enemy sight and then take out said enemies with ease. In combat Natasha utilizes her speed and extensive KGB training to quickly eliminate foes. She's a quick thinker, and has a surprisingly high pain threshold for her build. Boomstick: She has a little help from her weapons, including her trademark Widow’s Bite, a wrist band thing that shoots bullets, tear gas, and carries a wire used for strangling foes up close or acting as a grapple wire. It’s also capable of emitting a bolt of electricity that discharges enough power to knock out regular humans and stun superhumans. Wiz: Speciifcally, around 30,000 volts of electricity. Her Widow’s Bite also acts as a radio transmitter, and functions based off of galvanic wrist sensors reacting to Natasha’s musculature movement. In addition, Natasha also uses dual batons that emit the same voltage as her Widow’s Bite. Boomstick: Widow’s arsenal doesn’t stop there. She usually brings along two S.H.I.E.L.D. grade handguns, which, when at maximum capability, can kill Trolls. Y’know, the kind Thor fights? Wiz: Natasha carries explosive discs equivalent to four pounds of TNT, ‘spy dics’ that disable security cameras, and a knife or two for good measure. And, occasionally Natasha uses sniper rifles. She’s good at that too. Boomstick: Her suit isn’t just there to make her look good either, though it certainly succeeds in that aspect. It’s lined with microscopic suction cups and electric stuff that lets her stick to walls. Like Spider-Man! Wiz: Her outfit is also composed of a kevlar-like substance to protect her from harm, and has a built-in gas mask. (Cue Age of Ultron: Avengers Theme) Boomstick: The Black Widow is a force to be reckoned with. She’s fast enough to dodge point blank machine gun fire, is strong enough to throw a grown man like a rag doll, and is proficient enough in combat to stalemate Elektra while seriously injured. And she has taken out mob bosses and other thugs while tied up, sometimes even to a chair… multiple times. Wiz: Natasha has also survived a bomb detonation and got right back up to fight, and even managed to subdue Wonder Man with a headlock. Boomstick: She headlocked a being made entirely of ionic energy? Wiz: Yes. Boomstick: Um. Okay comics. Wiz: That’s not all though. Natasha is fast enough to take down two thugs before her coffee even reached the ground, and she’s agile enough to dodge machine gun fire from a soviet gorrila wearing a jetpack. Boomstick: ALL RIGHT, that’s enough comic books for me today. Call me back when they’re mud wrestling or something. leaves Wiz: All the things we’ve covered and THIS is what weirds him out? Er, I mean, *ahem*. Even with all of Widow’s technology and physical capability, she is still human, and she has a tendency to get knocked out a lot. But, despite her shortcomings, Natasha is still a deadly assassin and bears the Black Widow name for good reasons. Natasha: I'm in the middle of an interrogation, and this moron is giving me everything. Georgi Luchkov: I... don't give everything. Coulson: Barton’s been compromised. Natasha: Let me put you on hold. proceeds to kick ass Interlude Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all. Uh, Boomstick? BOOMSTICK. Boomstick: WHAT? Wiz: DO THE THING. Boomstick: Oh, right. It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!! Pre-Fight (Cue Snake Eater Instrumental) JUNE 19 2016 TIME: CLASSIFIED LOCATION: CLASSIFIED OBJECTIVE: CLASSIFIED “You have your mission, Cap. Don’t let me down.” The voice of Nick Fury buzzed through Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff’s radio transmitters. They had recently been assigned to a classified case involving some mercenaries, and set out to apprehend them. “Remember Natasha, no “compartmentalization” this time. We BOTH have the same mission, so don’t go running off on me again.” Rogers lightly reprimanded the Black Widow. He hadn’t forgotten the whole ‘Lumarian Star’ incident. And he wouldn’t, for a while, thanks to his super-enhanced brain. “Stop worrying yourself Rogers. How do you not have a ton of wrinkles by now? Is it the serum? It must be the serum.” Natasha poked fun at Steve. She quite enjoyed messing with her partners but Rogers made an especially entertaining straight-man. To her, at least. “We’re entering the facility now, Fury. Nothing to see-yet.” Rogers whispered into his radio com. He turned and surveyed the area; empty. Dark. Large. A perfect setup for… “CLANG!” Rogers lifted his shield up and over himself and Natasha microseconds before a sniper round took them both out. Natasha radioed Fury, “Fury, we have contact. Sniper.” She tried not to sound excited, but this was what she loved. The skirmishes, the fighting. “Looks like we’re having fun today, Steve.” Of course, Rogers was too busy tracking the sniper to reply to another one of Natasha’s dry quips. “There, western side, behind those storage units.” Cap and Widow raced after the sniper, leaping over the stairs leading to the second level of the facility. To their right, the western storage area. Cap turned the corner, about to hurl his mighty shield, when a second bogey cut him off, and tackled him Roger to the ground. Natasha instinctively used her Widow’s Bite on the assaulter, and caught a glimpse of his face. “Ooh, Fury, looks like you got some competition in the eyepatch department.” She couldn’t help herself from poking at Fury, especially not with Fury 2.0 right in front of her. Cap threw the eyepatched assaulter off him, and bashed him with his shield, busting open a hole in the facility wall. Cap and the Fury look-a-like leapt out, bashing each other in the face like cavemen. From the hole shined a single ray of sunlight. Natasha ran to follow Steve, but heard a remote ‘click’ sound. She turned, shooting from her Widow’s Bite at the sound. The sound’s source rolled, then from it materialized a woman in a busty outfit. “And they think I’M too revealing.” Natasha scoffed in her head. (Cue Black Widow Kicks Ass) Quiet stared down Natasha, gun in hand. “Well, can’t let the boys have all the fun right?” Romanoff sneered, and ran towards Quiet before leaping into the air. FIGHT Moments before impact, Quiet phased herself out of Widow’s strike, disappearing in a black puff of particles. Natasha landed, perfect as always, and worked the odds in her mind. “Okay, teleporter. Sniper. Good combo, but she doesn’t want to be up close…” Natasha rolled for cover behind a crate, knowing that Quiet would be moving into position for a snipe. “Time to see how good a sniper she is,” Widow thought to herself. She took one of her spy discs and lightly threw it around the crate she was hiding behind, skidding above the floor with a quiet *clink*. Natasha waited, and sure enough, microseconds after landing the disc combusted into a fiery explosion of small shrapnel, pierced by a sniper round from afar. Luckily for Natasha, she had a good guess where Quiet was hiding out, and threw the crate she was taking refuge under into the air. The crate, too, was penetrated by a stealth bullet, spreading it into various pieces of wood and hurdling over the facility floor. Naturally, this was no mistake, as Natasha used the crate as a distraction for her to move her position. Sprinting as quickly as possible, the Black Widow threw herself down to the lower level of the facility, tossing a canister of tear gas to cover her landing. And Natasha’s gamble proved fruitful, forcing Quiet out of her hiding spot. What Natasha didn’t account for was her superhuman speed; she barely caught Quiet from escaping the lower level with a well-timed kick. A strong kick, mind you. Natasha didn’t have much patience for snipers. (Cue Lemurian Star) Quiet lifted herself up from the ground, her ponytail drooping beside her. Natasha grabbed Quiet by the throat and hurled her into a nearby crate, smashing it to bits. Yeah, these ‘enhanced’ types weren’t going to be given any mercy from the Black Widow. Demonstrating her years of training, Natasha expertly twisted Quiet’s arm, holding her in a lock, and pushing her forward with her left leg, stretching out Quiet and inducing unbearable pain. Quiet was no slouch, however, and she had been trained to counter locks like this. With her free right hand, Quiet thrusted back, landing her fist in Natasha’s gut, then turning her left arm into a light gas just long enough for her to escape the Black Widow’s grasp. Once again turning invisible, Quiet instead opted for close-combat by utilizing her abilities. Natasha turned the corner, expecting Quiet to take up a new sniping post, but was instead met by a knee landing square in Natasha’s jaw, knocking her against a wall and drawing some blood. Yeah, enhanced sniper. Almost forgot. Quiet took out her gun and aimed at Widow, ready to end the fight. “Okay,” Natasha said to herself. “This looks bad. God, I sound like Clint now.” The Black Widow was enhanced too, and had no problem dodging point-blank fire. This was no exception. Widow’s marauder was nearly entranced by her movement, whirling around the gun with such grace and ease. Natasha knew she wouldn’t get a better chance to finish the fight. She rolled by Quiet’s side, and kicked Quiet’s knee’s from behind, then got up and pulled out her wire from her gauntlets. She wrapped them around Quiet, strangling the busty brawler. Quiet fought back, tugging and pulling against Natasha’s strength. And again, Quiet found her morphing abilities quite useful for escaping close quarters. She phased right through the wire, then turned around, lying on her back, and expertly fired a round right into Natasha’s stomach. “AAAAACGH!” Natasha yelped. Her suit had made sure the bullet hadn’t actually gone straight through her, but it was lodged firmly in her skin. Quiet expected an easy finish, as most people were essentially dead after the first shot. But the Black Widow is not most people. Natasha told herself, over and over, about a million times in her head, thoughts rushing faster than her blood, “Don’t faint. Don’t faint. Finish the fight. Don’t faint.” She ran up and kicked Quiet’s gun out of her hand, then turned her upper torso and decked Quiet in the jaw with a solid knuckle. Quiet fell, feeling her endurance failing her. She could take a bullet, sure, but Natasha’s blows weren’t normal blows. She, too must be enhanced somehow, Quiet figured. (Cue Theme of Solid Snake) Natasha then aimed her bracelets down upon Quiet, and tazed her with the Widow’s Bite. As the volts pulsed through Quiet, she knew she only had one option; and she felt her consciousness dropping fast. Quiet barely managed to force her muscles to grab a grenade, which Natasha noticed. Widow wasn’t planning on killing the sniper, not without orders anyway, so she predictably knocked the grenade away towards the facility wall. BOOOOOOOM. (Cue Clash) The wall collapsed, welcoming in a ray of sunlight into the once dull facility. Natasha turned, assuming Quiet was out for the count. “Fury, I’ve got a sniper here. Taken out, enhanced. Want me to bring her in?” “Enhanced huh? Probably working with the guy Cap’s fighting right now. Bring her to the meeting point, then, Natasha, and maybe Steve will leave some of the action for you over there.” Fury responded. Natasha turned around, only to find an empty spot on the floor where Quiet once lie. “Ugh.” Natasha groaned. This one just wouldn’t stay down. Natasha turned, and ducked behind a storage unit, scouting out Quiet’s position. It wasn’t hard; Quiet was performing some sort of ceremonial dance in the sunlight, and she seemed completely oblivious to the world around her. Black Widow ducked down, inching near the sniper quickly, but as… er… quiet as a mouse. She pulled her handguns, and spoke to them, “Increase caliber to level 7.” “Printing.” Her guns replied. Natasha lined up her shot; this sniper was enduring, but there was no way in hell she would survive… CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH. (Cue Captain America's Theme) From the outside, Captain America and his foe, Venom Snake, crashed back into the facility, landing and destroying some crates filled with gunpowder. Venom threw Cap off of him, and Cap expertly rolled his landing. Quiet had noticed this by now, and the four stared each other down. “Hey Cap. Welcome back to our girls-night-out.” Natasha teased. Even now Widow found it too easy to make remarks. She could do this in her sleep. Venom Snake turned to Quiet, the two communicating with each other seemingly without words. “Well shoot, Steve. Looks like they’re winning prom king and queen over us this year.” Natasha felt the words burst out of her mouth, like a wild boar stamping down a puny fence. She couldn’t help herself. “Quips. That’s good, stay positive Natasha. One of us has to.” Steve characteristically, grimly replied. He readied his shield, then ran forward at Venom Snake. Quiet shot at Cap using a spare gun from Venom, but Cap could block bullets all day; even Hawkeye couldn’t get a sneak shot in on the Captain. He instead turned his trajectory to Quiet, slamming her with his shield, and then raising it up, tossing her into the air. Venom dashed to his comrade, and whipped out a knife and nearly stabbed Cap’s throat, only stopped by Widow who covered Steve’s back. She grabbed him by the arm and barely held him back; he was strong. Must be a super soldier like Cap. But, super soldiers were never much a problem for Natasha; she WAS married to one after all. Natasha lifted and smashed her knee into Venom, then pulled her wire out and wrapped it around Venom. Snake retaliated, punching Natasha in the gut, then lifting her and flipping her on her back, slamming her into the ground. He threw his punch down; a rather standard technique for quickly taking out foes. But Natasha was not standard, and she knew the technique well. She blocked Venom’s fist, then hurled him as though he were a ragdoll into a crate. Meanwhile, Cap hunted down the photosynthesizing woman, to no avail. He had trouble hearing her movements while Widow and Venom tossed each other around like barbarians. His sight, however, hadn’t failed him. From behind a corner, Cap caught a slight glimpse of a see-through foot, and knew it belonged to his sniper. Cap approached the corner, and was met by a grenade, which he instinctively tossed aside with his shield. An instinctive move that Quiet was counting on, as she dashed forward and drove a knife into Steve’s gut, then kicked him back a yard or two, slamming into more innocent, helpless crates, and falling into a lower level in the facility. Natasha went to help Cap up, but was intercepted by Venom Snake, who attempted to put a bullet through her. Natasha shot the bullet out with her own, and ducked for cover near the injured Cap. “Got a plan?” Steve asked. He’d faced worse odds before; but not often. “Maybe something. Can you keep Fury Jr. off my back?” Natasha replied. “Give me an opening, sure.” Steve promised. Natasha peeked over the edge, seeing that Venom and Quiet were waiting for them. So, the Black Widow gave them some bait, and tossed five explosive discs over towards the duo. She knew they wouldn’t kill them, but they would make a nifty distraction. (Cue Encounter) Cap and Widow leapt out from below, and Widow’s plan proceeded. She grappled her wire around Venom Snake, and swung him around, sending him flying to Cap, who caught him by the foot in mid-air, slammed him down into the ground, then kicked him clear out of the facility. Cap ran after him to finish the fight. Natasha turned, and planted her fist into Quiet’s face. She needed Quiet eliminated for Cap, and she had to keep her promise. She quickly jabbed Quiet’s throat, hoping to cut off her breath; but Quiet, while physically knocked back, didn’t seem short of breath at all. She then whipped out her knife, and hacked the air in front of Widow. Or at least, the air is what Widow left for Quiet, and she expertly dodged each swipe. Horizontal. WHOOF. Vertical. WOOF. Straight. WUUMP. Natasha caught Quiet’s arm, and brought down her elbow down on it, breaking her bones. Widow climbed on Quiet’s arm, twirling around her body and covering Quiet’s face with her legs. Quiet resisted; her superhuman strikes shook Widow’s insides with each thunderous blow, but Widow would not budge. She brought down her fists, over and over, pummeling Quiet into submission. Widow flipped off of Quiet, kicking her in the face in the process. Quiet stumbled back, and Widow whipped out her grabble, and tied it around Quiet’s neck, then slammed her into the ground. Quiet once again tried to break free of the Widow’s grasp, but she was not distracted this time. Natasha was finishing the mission. Natasha’s Widow’s Bite erupted from it’s chamber, electricity hurdling down the wire and into Quiet’s body. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZP. “aaaaaaaahhgh……” Quiet barely moaned. Even with 30,000 volts, she managed to NOT scream in pain. Widow was almost impressed. Almost. Natasha smacked Quiet in the face one last time to make sure she was out, then tied her up to a crate with her grapple and dropped an explosive disc near her. (Cue Winter Soldier) As Natasha walked away, she wondered who made Quiet into what she was. Why she needed sunlight. Why she was so strong. Questions that an autopsy would surely answer, but there would be no autopsy for her. Not today. Widow remembered her training; always make sure the enemy is dead before leaving. So she turned, handgun equipped, and fired two rounds into Quiet’s head. Just in case she somehow survived the blast. Outside, Cap and Venom continued to brawl. Natasha so desperately wanted to join Cap, but her plan required Fury’s extraction unit, so she glumly walked off to radio in a rescue. Conclusion K.O.! (Cue Fight as One) Boomstick: Now that’s one hot way to go. Wiz: Quiet put up a very good fight, but ultimately, Widow barely edged her out. Boomstick: Quiet’s sniper skills are very impressive, but unfortunately for Quiet, Natasha has no problem dodging gunfire, and snipers are nothing new to her anyway. She is best friends with Hawkeye, after all. Wiz: In close quarters, Natasha trumped Quiet with much more training from more elite mentors and by possessing far more combat experience thanks to her slowed aging, letting her live longer than Quiet has. Boomstick: Widow’s arsenal also beat Quiet’s in sheer versatility and lethality, since Natasha’s handguns alone are strong enough to kill trolls. Wiz: And Natasha is an expert with all her weapons, not just a sniper rifle. Additionally, while Quiet’s parasites grant her superhuman abilities, Natasha is no slouch when it comes to taking down foes above her paygrade. She defeated the Red Guardian, a near physical equal to Captain America, and took out an X-Force team all by herself once. While Quiet’s intangibility and invisibility could buy her some time, Natasha only needs to get close once to seal the match. Boomstick: And she totally can, too. Remember, Natasha has her own super-soldier serum, helping her keep up with Quiet’s stealth thanks to her enhanced abilities too. It seems Natasha has permanently silenced Quiet. Wiz: The winner is Black Widow. Next Time Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:Metal Gear vs Marvel Category:'Gun Fights' Themed Death Battles Category:'Girls Only' themed Death Battles Category:Assassin Vs. Assassin Themed Death Battles Category:'Video Games vs Comic Books' themed Death Battles Category:'Spy/Stealth' Themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles with cameo appearances Category:Tewn Lonk Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles